Mellow Mountain Counseling

  Reflective listening is a way to show that you are accurately hearing what another person is saying. Reflective listening can be helpful with a disagreement, argument, or problem solving. The reason this helps is because: A . You can better see their problem and solution , from a logical and emotional perspective. B . When someone feels their point of view is truly seen, they are more likely to lower their defenses and hear your personal point of view as well. Be present with the other person  (focus completely on the moment with that individual, stop what you are doing, remove distractions and have an environment where you can focus on them) Listen intently to what they are saying  (stay tuned only to what they are saying, do not go over in your head what you would like to say, the most important thing is hearing not speaking) Say back to them in your own words what you think they are trying to communicate "What I hear you saying is ..." Ask them if what you sai...

Finding Shelter in the Emotional Weather Emotions can be confusing because they can come and go at different times, similar to the weather. We often would like to change our emotions, Feel excited rather than anxious, or joyful rather than sad. But the truth is that we can't directly and automatically just change our emotions. Very similar to the weather, we can't control it, we have to let it pass through. The good news is that there are ways that we can be able to take shelter when it feels like there is an emotional storm happening, and ways that we can find safety until the overwhelming emotions pass. Here is a list of things to keep in mind when you are feeling overwhelmed that can help temporarily with managing intense emotions. Sometimes it can help identifying these things before hand, and writing them down, either in your phone or on a small card you can keep in your wallet, so when you are feeling like in an emotional crisis, you can pull the list up for reference. - ...

  Distraction Tools What are they? Distraction tools are any activity that turns our thoughts away from an emotionally triggering or stressful situation, and helps us focus on something different and less distressing. It can be an escape from reality for a moment, and helps give us space before coming back and addressing  an emotional challenge, when we feel more ability and strength to manage it.   How do they work? Distraction tools are effective because they are healthy ways of going into the numbing mode, as referred to in the mindfulness skills section. Our brains naturally want to numb because they get tired of being in the problem solving mode continually. When a problem gets too overwhelming it can be beneficial to take a step away from the problem for a little bit in order to decrease panic and pressure into making quick decisions. And when we need to come back to a problem sometimes the break away from it allows us to come back at it with a new perspective....

  Mindfulness Tools What are they? Mindfulness skills are a way for us to build internal awareness . They allow us to see our thoughts, emotions, and physical sensations without being attached or identifying with them. One way of looking at it is sitting on the beach and watching the waves come in and out versus being in the waves and being thrown around by them. Being on the beach is a much calmer spot to be, and you don’t worry about drowning. Mindfulness lets you sit on the beach. Mindfulness also allows you to sit with emotions and thoughts rather than avoid them.   How do they work? One way to explain mindfulness skills is being able to understand the 3 levels of awareness we tend to be in. The middle level (or the main floor), is where we are continually using our brain which creates thoughts and emotions in order to problem solve how to survive in everyday life, whether that be physical, social, or occupational. Living on the main floor and being in continual probl...

  Grounding Techniques What are they? Grounding Techniques are a very important set of skills which are helpful in being able to put yourself back in the present moment. There are times when our thoughts will be racing and our emotions will become too overwhelming or intense. These skills are quick ways to help slow your mind down and to decrease the intensity of your emotions. They are helpful in us being able to get out of our heads and come to an emotional place where we can think more clearly.     How do they work? One important thing about understanding why grounding techniques work is understanding why our brain acts the way it does. Our brain as an organ is biologically wired to take in information about what can keep us alive as well as what can threaten or kill us. It then categorizes this information and when a dangerous situation arises our brain sets an alarm and puts us into a fight, flight, or freeze response. This is to kick us into action quickly...

  Self Care Skills What are they? Self care is a word that is thrown around quite a bit nowadays, but it’s not as easy as it sounds, and it does take skill on learning when to use them. Self-care are things that we can do that connects us to ourselves. They are actions that help us to fill our emotional fuel tank from empty to full. And the type of activities that help fill us up are actions based on values as well as actions to fill human basic needs . We must not forget to pay homage to ourselves. How do they work? Finding the activities that are truly caring for ourselves can be difficult, and it’s not just about taking a break. It’s important to know what self care is for us personally. Self care skills or activities are usually needed when we are burned out. Emotional challenges and stress can arise when we are putting all our energy into one area of our lives and we start to neglect other important areas. This neglect of important needs and values can make use feel unbalanced...

  Processing Skills What are they? Processing skills are tools that are used to help us with understanding our current emotions. They can also be looked at ways that help us with getting the emotions “out”. When we use processing, we get the emotions out in front of us and then dissect why we are feeling the way we do. Processing is extremely important because it helps us dig to the root of our emotions and allows us to replant healthier views, which leads to longer lasting change and maintaining a healthier well being.    How do they work? Processing tools work by helping us with connecting to our emotions and then slowing our thought processes down. When we can connect to the emotion we acknowledge that it is there and that it is telling us there’s something happening within us, very similar to how a check engine light tells you there’s some problem with the car. Then as we process it, (break it down verbally), we slow down our thoughts and the way our brain is wo...